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In reality, I would be instantly disqualified from becoming a contestant on Project Runway for the very good reason that the last time I set needle to cloth, I was in elementary school and I was making a dress for Barbie. If you could call it a dress. I rolled some hideous paisley fabric into a tube, sewed it closed, and then stapled some of Barbie's broken hairbands across the top for straps. Then I shoved her in the tube and belted it with another hairband. It was very Cro Magnon Von Trapp, and not fierce at all.

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